Look on the Bright Side!!!

By what would seem to be popular acclaim, the unofficial national song here in the Happy Little Kingdom is the Monty Python number from "The Life of Brian" -- "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!"

I try to adhere to that bit of cracker barrel philosophy.

A hundred thousand drowned in the flood that Typhoon Nargis donated to Myanmar and that number will increase many times because lack of sanitation, drinking water, food, shelter -- which will bring on dysentery, dengue fever, cholera and other pestilence. All of which will be accompanied by another old acquaintance -- famine.

On the bright side, the international press seems to be learning to refer to the poor country as Myanmar and not the colonial name of Burma. True, that is not much of a bright side, but, to paraphrase Mr. Rumsfart, you go with the bright side you've got and not the one you'd like to have...

A major earth quake in China started with a modest two thousand dead which quickly went to ten, then twelve thousand and may continue to exponentially increase. The quake came at the worst possible time -- around three in the afternoon. At that time, people are all in schools, offices and factories. Since the building codes, their enforcement at least is shoddy -- this not being a high priority for the present regime -- many buildings, in particular factories, collapsed like the concrete card houses they were.

On the bright side? Well, this may well mean that China will not be able to ship as many Arrogant flags to the USA as planned in time to be waved during the Quadrennial Horse Races also known as the Prezidenshul (se)Election. In turn, this could harm chances of Senator Mad Kane to win the races!

On another bright side -- except for an elderly lady who died and a lot of cattle who are going to starve to death because their forage is covered in pumice -- is the recent dramatic eruption of the Chaitén Volcano in southern Chile. Some of the photos of the eruption and the electrical displays in the clouds of ash and pumice are simply awe inspiring!

Actually, it is very much on the bright side that all that ash, dust and sulfides Chaitén is belching into the upper atmosphere will counteract something of effect of the 385 ppm of CO2 in the atmosphere as well as the methane being slipped from the thawing permafrost of the northern tundras.

Why, Chaitén might even give us a few more months before we reach the tipping point where global climate change is irreversible -- isn't that a wonderful thing to think about?

A Minor Case of Anti-Serendipity...

You have exactly 30 seconds to catch the joke in this little example of anti-serendipity:

The clock is ticking...

Don't feel bad if you didn't catch it -- I didn't either, I'm a bit dyslexic...


Hint, if you still don't get it, use a spell checker...

Is There a word for Anti-Serendipity?

There ought to be a word for events where, in a sort of anti-serendipity, our leaders, rulers, the high and mighty are suddenly revealed, like H. C. Andersen’s Emperor, to not only be wearing no clothes, but have big pimples on their butt.

Moments like this rarely reach in the history books. But I assure you they happen -- I’ve usually seen them several times on television and heard them with my own two ears.

When Prez Nixon’s made his last State of the Union Speech to the joint session of Congress, he referred to the storm clouds of scandal and cover-ups which were even then on the verge of destroying his Administration, asking Congress to join with him in a bipartisan manner to "remove the President [painful pause] -- remove the present situation..."

I guess that was more than a Freudian pratfall than a slip. "Even presidents have to stand naked sometimes" as the Bard of the Sixties once wrote.

Another story -- again, you won’t be likely to read it in the history books, but it happened just the same. Pope Pious IX was on television opening a Jubilee Year. The ceremony required that he open "Peter’s Gate" which is normally kept closed.

The Pope was to open the gate by knocking on the door with a little silver hammer and the gate was supposed to swing open -- but nothing happened and the Pope, the Vicar of Christ, the Keeper of the Keys to the Kingdom was suddenly an embarrassingly puzzled wizened old man. Meanwhile, banging sounds were heard from behind the door and a few minutes later the door swung open as if by carpenter magic...

When the Secretary of State, Colin Powell held his (in)famous press conference at the United Nations in the February, 2003, just before the US war of aggression against Wudda-Wreck, there were so many press folk that the conference had to be held in the main hall.

As was reported, the tapestry copy of Picasso’s "Guernica" behind the podium where Mr. Powell was to do his little performance was covered with blue muslin.

Contrary to what many believe, the tapestry was not covered at the request of either the State Department or the UN -- it was at the request of the photographers, they needed a neutral background in order to take good pictures.

But that is what made the anti-serendipity even more delicious!

The covering of Guernica that drew more news then the picture itself would have -- and how fitting! The war was foisted upon us through cover-ups, disinformation, omfustication and bald-faced lies -- but every one knew what was behind the blue backdrop.

Have any of you ever noted any examples of anti-serendipity?

A Soldier Needs a Bodygaurd?

Can you imagine that the Army had to send a soldier stateside because they could not guarantee his personal safety in Wudda-Wreck? Well, you needn't bother yourself trying to imagine it -- it happened

Yes, I know, there are thousands of soldiers whom the Army has failed to ensure the safety of by issuing defective body armor and under armored vehicles -- but the case of Spc. Jeremy Hall is special. He has served two tours of duty in Wudda-Wreck and has been a Combat Action Badge -- I guess that means he was somewhere where bad people were shooting at him.

Things started going sour for Jeremy on Thanksgiving, 2006. He declined to take part in a Christian prayer before doing the turkey thing as he is an atheist.

His troubles grew and came to a head in July when he organized a meeting of the Military Association of Atheists and Freethinkers. The meeting was broken by a major who chewed Hall out for being a disgrace to the Constitution [sic!!!] and threatened him with charges of conduct detrimental to good order and discipline.

As the harassment and threats grew and became more serious, Hall was assigned a permanent bodyguard and now has been sent back to Arrogance to serve out the rest of his tour of duty there.

May Day and More...

It's kinna weird, but it's a fact: May Day, that is as a day dedicated to workers' and class struggle originated in the United State of Arrogance.

In 1886, in Chicago, there was a three day general strike by laborers, artisans, merchants and immigrants. During the strike, four people were shot and killed by police at the McCormick factory.

The next day there was a large, peaceful demonstration at Haymarket Square.

In the afternoon the police entered the crowd in a phalanx. A bomb was thrown by "somebody" and a policeman was killed. In the ensuing chaos, twelve people died, half of them policemen.

The eight people who had organized the demonstration were arrested and charged with murder. They were all found guilty and sentenced to be hanged. Four were hanged and one committed suicide in jail. The remaining were pardoned by the new Illinois governor. Who threw the bomb was never proven, but a strong suspicion points to the goons of the Pinkerton National Detective Agency.

Both the trials and the hangings were public. The defendants were tried more for their political beliefs than involvement in the bombing. The case awoke anger and indignation across the globe and the 1st of May became a day celebrating the struggle of workers for such ridiculous things as an eight hour work day and honest wages for honest work.

A number of steps were taken to defuse the effect of May Day in the USA. In 1921, the 1st of May became "Loyalty Day" where people affirmed their loyalty to Arrogance. In 1958, Congress confirmed the day as a nat'l "Loyalty Day" -- not as a holiday, but as a commemoration day.

In the USA, "Labor Day" is the first Monday in September and not the 1st of May. You might think that this was a sop to divert attention from May Day. This is a truth with a lot of footnotes. The first September Labor Day was celebrated by the Knights of Labor in 1882 and became a nat'l holiday in 1892 by act of Congress. Originally, it was a day to awaken the consciousness of the working people. Today, with the emasculated unions in the USA which have but 12% of the working force organized, the fight for worker rights and the very idea of worker solidarity is little more than an Arrogant fairy tale.

Sniffing for Fun

I always thought we had a corner on silly sex scandals in the United State of Arrogance, but, they are showing a certain amount of initiative Down Under.

The leader of the Western Australia Liberal* Party broke down in tears -- on television -- and admitted that, yes, he had been sniffing the seat of the chair in which a female Liberal Party staff member had been sitting...

Geeze, when I was a kid in Poosah City, these many years ago, one of the definitions of a "perv" was somebody who sniffed girls' bicycle seats. I always assumed it was a joke, like wearing green on a Thursday meant that you were "queer" -- but now, I'm not so sure...

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* Please note: "Liberal" outside the USA does not translate to "librul" and is rather somewhat right of center.

Catching Dog Poopers Prevents Terra!!!

In the wake of Terrible Tuesday, laws appeared out of nowhere, laws of several hundred pages were passed with large majorities. A weak minded person, or a skeptic, might think that these laws had been prepared beforehand, in anticipation of the awful events of that September. Such thoughts, of course make the thinker, at least, eligible for a high class tinfoil hat.

How can a reasonable person with the slightest grasp of our commonly accepted reality be opposed to a law with such a fine name as PATRIOT? Indeed, how can anyone be puzzled by the appearance, out of the (red, white and) blue, so to speak of the ominous term Homeland Security? Only a pansy, a wimp, a librul could take offense!

Our leaders protect us and if they need special powers to protect us, my gawd, give them such power so they don't have to take it illegally (for our own good, of course).

In the Happy Large Kingdom we sometimes call the Great Brit, they had similar, ill advised discussions when the RIPA bill was passed. This super patriotic law gave greatly expanded powers to the local governments to use cameras in surveillance of public areas. The public was assured that these expanded powers would only be used to "get terraists".

People, in their wussiness, are now complaining that the local gov'ts are now using the surveillance cameras to catch litter bugs and dog poopers. What else can you expect of libruls? Is not litter-bugism and the leaving of stray dog poops as close to terraism as you can get with out saying "boom!"?

I'm just asking!